But the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him.
~ Psalm 32:10b ~
It's been a tough morning. Actually, a tough night preceded it. An emotional weekend filled with emotionally exhausting events. And to top it off I find when I am bogged down by emotional junk I work harder physically. The tears started late last night and again when I woke up. Lamenting brought on my missing Trent, but going deeper it revealed sins that needed to be repented of and hurts that needed to be drawn out and confessed to my Heavenly Father. Hurts of this world and the pain that is inflicted in it.
I needed to detox of my expectations of being fulfilled and satisfied here and lay my soul bare before my Creator. Rip the scab covering of coping and stuffing off and feel the raw oozing pain of hurt. And it hurts. Until Jesus comes back it will hurt. Until I am sanctified through and through it will hurt.
I worry more when I am content in this world than when I am struggling. Contentment means I am at a standstill. Contentment means I have gotten lazy. Contentment means I am not searching out the greater things of Christ and that there is no growth. God does give us breaks, but He grows His children. He pry's our hands off of this world and it hurts because we hold on so tightly and refuse to let go. We long for what we know instead of what He has for us~ greater things than this world could ever offer.
This enemy land with a prince masquerading in light lulls us into being comfortable. When Kingdom work gets a little too intense the enemy attacks harder. Wonder what I'm talking about? Try sharing the gospel with somebody today and see if you aren't attacked. Try being a light in a dark environment and see if Satan doesn't want to put it out. I am always blindsided afterward by the attacks. I should come to expect them by now. After my high I think again that I am infallible. I forget the impact that could be made if a young dad would be saved, leading his girlfriend and children along with him and changing his family and his world around him.
May I fight all the harder. May I endure the battle. God let me willingly lay down my life again and again for your Kingdom and your Glory. Don't let me hide on my little goat farm and not care. Don't let me become apathetic again about You. People are perishing in front of my eyes, and I wonder what's for supper. Make my trust in you be so great that I am willing to endure painful things that you may shine brighter in me. Lord, let your Kingdom come. Shake the gates of Hell, Christian sister and brother. Get off your recliners and fight. Dear Lord, let me get off my recliner and fight.