I feel like the voice of doom every time I sit down to write these days. I hop around other blogs and enjoy reading about other farm wives and their happenings, or catch the titles of the latest breaking Yahoo news of who's wearing what or how many calories are in the newest chocolate dessert, and then here I am pondering eternity and salvation and death and grief again. The words that I read in scripture this morning cry out "You women who are so complacent, rise up and listen to me; you daughters who feel secure, hear what I have to say! ..... In little more than a year you who feel secure will tremble; the grape harvest will fail, and the harvest of fruit will not come. Tremble, you complacent women; shudder, you daughters who feel secure! ..... yes, mourn for all houses of merriment and for this city of revelry." Isaiah 32.
I look back and wonder what I would have thought reading that passage a year ago. I recall reading the words before, but I am pretty sure that I skimmed over them. Four months ago I would have probably skimmed over them even if somebody had warned me. Three months later, I am trembling. I am counting what really matters. I am listening closer to God. I shudder. I only feel secure knowing that I am in the palm of my Heavenly Father's hand, knowing that He is in charge. I take every word of Scripture to mean so much more. I spend more time reading my Bible and praying than ever before~ looking for the promises, counting the days until He fulfills them, waiting impatiently for my Savior.
I used to feel secure. I now feel the weight of this sinful world. I mourn for those who find their joy and merriment here. I try to balance the joy and the desires of this world with the contrast of seeking the heavenly kingdom. So much of my time and energy and money have been invested here. What will any of this matter? What will I take with me? How much of it will last for eternity? What will be considered jewels and what will be considered hay and stubble in eternity? If I drink milk from my very own goats and eat farm fresh eggs and organic vegetables will God really care? If I ignore Him and chase the world will He care? If I refuse to obey Him or to train up my children in Him won't there be lasting consequences? With all that is in me I cling to God. When His statutes are blasphemed or ridiculed I hurt. I hurt for Him, but also for the ones who would dare to treat Him with contempt, the ones who are blind and will one day see that He wasn't kidding. I shudder at my own sinfulness. How long, oh Lord, how long will you continue to put up with us?