How are you doing? I am beginning to dislike that question more and more. Do you mean how am I right now? How was I twenty minutes ago? Do you really care how I am or are you just asking to be polite? Do you really want to know or should I just smile?
Do you know how I am this morning? The coffee pot broke. Ka-put. It's an old time percolator and it may have perked it's last perk. Some days lately it makes black coffee, and some days it makes yellow water. I dumped the first pot today and tried again and got the same yellow water. That's how I am today. I've cried. I've sought God. I've washed laundry. Now I sort. Sort thoughts and theology and plans for the day. Fight the tears again and trust God again. Look away from where Trent always sat on the couch, then look back. Consider, again, seriously looking for an antique trunk to finish packing away the rest of his earthly belongings, then decide I really don't want them put away. I don't want him forgotten in our daily lives yet. I want the reminders surrounding me. I take another drink of my yellow sugar water and consider visiting Russell for some real black coffee. But I need to cry by myself first.
Scripture puts things into perspective. Paul reminds me that God really does know what He is doing, that the most important thing is that the gospel goes forth, that to die is gain~ even for your son, that to go on living in this body means fruitful labor, that God who began this good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. So I commit myself again to wait. I will strive to do everything without complaining, allowing God to work in me, trusting that as I hold on to and hold out the word of life that God will make it shine like the stars in the universe.
I will try to find joy in being poured out like a drink offering for God's glory, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I will press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus because I know that my citizenship is in heaven, not on this earth, and I eagerly await my Savior from there. Again, I will rejoice because I know that my Savior is near and that He will guard my heart and my mind and will meet all my needs according to His glorious riches. Armed with that knowledge I will face the day, the kids, the schooling, the chores, the critters and the coffee pot for round number three. Lord willing.
~~~
Encouragement this morning from the book of Phillipians, NIV.
6 comments:
Get your bra on; Jim's on his way to your rescue. :)
Too late! You could have warned me earlier! Gotta love that guy you decided to marry:)))
I know you write alot of this to vent and help you but in doing so you have revealed what a strong person you are in God.Continueing to pray for you and your family. Hope the coffee pot gets fixed! I use a stove top percolator. Found it at an antique store for $11! I dont drink it but every once in a while but it makes the BEST coffee!Hugs to You
Wish I were your neighbor. I'd be there with coffee and neither of us would care about bras that early in the morning! You are beautiful!
HAHAHA! Wish you were my neighbor, too, Dalyn:))))
Oh Tonia~ thank you. Simply thank you for pointing out God's strength through my struggles and ramblings:)
I'm catching up on your posts this morning.... and have to say that you are blessed with wonderful neighbors and family.
Your strength in the Lord helps me be strong ... and I'm sure many many more that you may never know about.
Take care! I pray that you have a glorious day!
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