An attempt to declare the Glory of God for what He has chosen to do with our lives. A legacy to leave to my children in the telling of it.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Black and White

Blah! My brain is on strike. I can't think up a creative building project or even get the gumption to go clean out another closet, yet alone imagine what might sound good to pull out of the freezer to cook for supper or what I should wear. I am in black and white mode. I try to spend time in scripture and pondering the sweet truths and promises, but mostly my eyes focus on some far away place and I am in a daze. There is a deep strength and hope in my Savior that He knows exactly what He's doing that carries me through the day. But the day that I mostly think about is the Day that God will make all things right again.
I know I do not walk this journey alone. God is leading me by the hand. But I also know that there are four children and a husband walking it as well. The pain of watching your husband cry over his son is often times harder than crying yourself. The comfort of sharing new found verses and revelations and dreams with your daughter makes the way a little easier. Young children who still believe in happily ever after and want you to believe, too, bring me out of the daze for a bit. And then come the bills and the insurance claims and the old t-shirts in the hamper to make you realize that even through the fog life must go on. I find myself thanking God for this foggy stage of grief that the brain might have a chance to catch up to what the soul already knows. I find myself praising God when the fog does clear for a bit and just holding on by my fingertips until it lifts again. He knows the paths He has layed out for me and I will gladly walk them because He has asked me to; missing my son and all, because it is with my Savior that I walk until I see him again.
He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 1:6

5 comments:

Brenda said...

Keep holding on Terri. I pray that the Holy Spirit reveal Himself to you as your Comforter. I pray that the fog be a soft place for your mind and emotions to heal. I pray for strength for your body to keep walking the path before you...... Love and Prayers!

Cathy said...

And yet in the midst of the fog you come and bless us. Thank you my sweet friend.

Heather Mattern said...

I love these photo's! I love your heart!

Dalyn said...

Praying for your healing. Take as long as it takes. In the meantime, you are doing some beautiul photography that has a flavor of your grief and your joy in the Lord mixed...it's quite beautiful. So is your soul, so evidently raw still, up on God's altar, showing others the way. Peace sister. I speak peace over you.

Sherry Sutherby http://russ-stickacres.blogspot.com/ said...

I can't say it any better than Brenda. Please know we are thinking of you...prayers abound.