An attempt to declare the Glory of God for what He has chosen to do with our lives. A legacy to leave to my children in the telling of it.

Monday, November 7, 2011

To Smile Again

Praise the Lord, all you nations;

extol him, all you peoples.

For great is His love towards us;

and the faithfulness of the Lord

endures forever.

Praise the Lord.


Psalm 117


I woke up smiling this morning. A smile on my lips and from my whole being, inside and out. I had almost forgotten what that felt like; the beaming, the joy, the freedom. I had dreamt about Trent. I woke up with him still in my arms. And then I remembered that he was in heaven. And I praised my God for it. I praised Him for a son in heaven while my arms clung to my empty chest and the smile stayed, inside and out. Then I went to my knees and praised God again; for his sovereign plans, for the good works still left for me to do, for an eternity to look forward to, for another day to trust Him, for more opportunities to share about Jesus, for children and a husband still here to minister to, for a son in heaven. The sun beamed through my bedroom window, as if to celebrate with me, and to announce the glory of God in the coming day. It feels good to smile again.

11 comments:

OurCrazyFarm said...

My plan was to shut the comments off, but some people know my email, and phone number, and home address . . . ~ I love how God moves. He always amazes me! From my sister (when the comments were off:)

***

Just so you know, I suffer a great deal for your moments of happiness. See, I ended up putting my back out over the weekend. I'm deducting it to shoveling 10 yards of dirt about a week ago, and prompted by hefting a 50 lb. salt block and twisting, which led to back spasms and pain that have left me couch bound all weekend. So, last night, in an attempt to sleep and kick the pain, I went through my large stash of good drugs, and finally decided on the Oxycodone. I forgot, until about 30 minutes later, that the stuff makes me ITCH like a mad woman. So there I was, up all night, itching, with God whispering to pray for you.

I was going to shoot you an e-mail to see how you were doing (I always worry and pray for you on Sundays), and I went to read your blog, and I smiled. (I even woke up able to move this morning on top of it all! I am yet again amazed by our Father and His ways and His blessings.)

It was interesting looking at the pictures, and wanting to get sucked into what the past was, instead of what our future holds, how easy it is to be sad for what is lost and gone, rather than to look forward to that reunion.

I have to say, Trent was a silly bugger, wasn't he? Love the close-up, peering into his soulful eyes.

I LOVE you and yours, and praying that the smiles continue. :)

Traci

ForeverInMyHeart said...

After Reading this. I have a smile on my face :) Terri, this made my day! The pictures made me smile for sure! I have been praying for you that you would have a really good day soon!! and after reading this I think my prayers were answered! :)

Love youuu!!! :)

Dalyn (AKA The Queen of Quite Alot) said...

Lord, that boy is beautiful it makes a person ache and the pictures of the two of you choke me but I'm so happy to know you are smiling again and so grateful to know someday you will be hugging Trent again an maybe ill get to sneak a hug on too!

Sherry Sutherby http://russ-stickacres.blogspot.com/ said...

Upon seeing this post, it took me several minutes to regain my composure. Then, I went searching. I recalled you writing the following words many months ago in one of your posts. And now, with today's post, I have the pictures to go with those words.

"I always struggled to love Trent the same as the other kids and always thought I was loving him too much for some reason. But looking back I can understand just a bit that it was because all my earthly, motherly loving had to be poured into him in only 12 short years and that God was actually allowing me to love him more intensely for it. And love him I did."

Painter Pack said...

Your strength amazes me. But with the love and grace of our God, all things are possible.

SP

OurCrazyFarm said...

I love youuuuu Casey!!! Praying for you tonight~ saying goodbye was hard:))

Dalyn~ I don't think I'm gonna be letting go of him for the first 800 billion years or so, but after that he's fair game:)) Yes~ he was beautiful ~ so beautiful.

Sherry~ Now you've got me all choked up.

Painter Pack~ Our God is amazing! It's ALL by His grace.

I pray blessings so often for you, my prayer warriors. I am humbled to be lifted up so faithfully and so often by you all~ God is listening, He's working, He's answering your prayers. Keep fighting the good fight!

Renee said...

Terry,
You continue to shake my faith! These pictures are priceless. Hard to look at yes (I have a 12 year too) but they are just beautiful. Put them in a collage on your wall! I think you are so much closer than so many of us to just "get it". God has plans for you!

OurCrazyFarm said...

Renee~ it is my hope to print and frame photo's to fill our stairway wall with pictures over the winter . . . what a great idea to add these: smiles, tears, remembering, rejoicing, longing. Praising God that He is "shaking" lives. Thank you, sweet friend:)

Dalyn (AKA The Queen of Quite Alot) said...

revisiting these pictures again this morning. Yep, still chokes me up and punches me in the gut. Makes me ache for you. Makes my mother's heart grieve with you. My son is the same age and it makes me hold him closer. Sending you love this morning. Hope you can feel it.

OurCrazyFarm said...

Feeling the love, Dalyn!

Sonja said...

I am praising God with you! I knew this day would come as we've all seen your great faith during this time. God is good and the perfect caretaker of such a handsome young man. Rough days may still come and go, but God gives gifts of hope to pull us through. Love you!