An attempt to declare the Glory of God for what He has chosen to do with our lives. A legacy to leave to my children in the telling of it.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


Today I am trying to imagine heaven. I can look out my window and see snow on the fields; physical buildings half done and waiting for finishing touches; animals contentedly eating their hay; young boys' bikes waiting to get rode. But I cannot envision heaven. I cannot begin to fathom where Trent is or what he is seeing. This boy whom I lived so intimately with for his whole 12 years I cannot imagine where he is right now. It's a bit different than dropping him off at summer camp for a week, seeing which cabin he is in, meeting his counselor, and watching him head off to the lake to go fishing. That whole week I can envision the wake up bell ringing and sleepy boys pulling their clothes on to hurry to the dining hall for breakfast; chapel time; playing with friends; games and campfires at dusk.

But how can I begin to imagine what Trent is experiencing, and has experienced, the past several weeks. "Where are you, Trent?", were the first thoughts that ran through my mind when I saw his dead body in the hospital. I knew where he was when he wandered the woods at home in search of pheasants or squirrels. I knew where he was when he went to shovel snow at Russell's house and sat down in Russell's kitchen for coffee and cookies. I knew where he was every morning as I sat in the recliner reading the word of God and he lay in his bed, sleeping safely. I had been where he was.

But where are you now, my son? What is heaven like? Are you talking with Gideon about the battle's of long ago? Are you discussing ancient weaponry and the might and glory of God to send so many home that the battle would be won with God's strength alone? Are you talking to Enoch or Elijah asking if they are the prophets who will return? Are you asking Paul about the stonings, about the scales, about the shipwreck? Are you worshipping under the alter, asking "How long oh Lord?" Or are you still just standing in awe of the God and Savior that your mother could never have come close to describing to you? One day you were here, the next you were at the throne of God. How I long to know what heaven is like so I may envision where you are. How I long to stand in awe with you, praising the God who gives and takes away. Lord, I need your reality today. Show me, again, yourself. Comfort me with your peace. Send me your words that I count on to endure.

Scripture is vague on what heaven is like. The apostle Paul said it was indescribable. John tries to use terms that we can understand from an earthly perspective, but even those words fail him to try to describe what he saw. The description of the new heaven is beyond our mind's comprehension to even imagine. The most beautiful place in this fallen world doesn't even come close because it is God himself that makes heaven so indescribable.

Today I will listen all the more for the trumpet call and watch closer for my Savior to return. When the good works He has prepared for me to do here are done, and when my duties that bring glory to His name are done, I too will know what heaven is like. The earth and everything in it will fade away, but the name of the Lord will endure forever. Lord haste the day when you make all things right for your glory.


Nezzy said...

Oh my goodness sweetie. I am so very sorry! My heart aches for you and my prayers are here for you and your family. I truly don't know how your are writing these beautiful post.

It took me ten days to get a post out when my daddy passed and he was old and very ill. No body knows what you are goin' through or dealin' with right now. I know what it is like to be told your baby daughter won't make it through the night or the next surgery but I don't know what it is like to loose a child.

I happy you are comforted in your faith, that you can let our Heavenly Father wrap those ever~lovin' arms around you. That you have the knowledge to know that your precious son is dancin' with Jesus and someday you WILL be united.

May God give the peace and sweet, sweet rest sweetie.

I want to do more but my prayers are with you.

Mrs. Trixi said...

Oh, my heart just aches for you and the grief you are bearing. I pray God's continuous peace for you.

mike said...

Hi Terri ~ That was a beautiful post. I, too, have wondered what heaven is like. I'm not comparing my wonderings with your longing to know and see. I also wonder if he sees you and knows exactly what you're thinking and feeling. A great website with pictures of the book of Revelation is She is gifted from God and paints Rev. exactly as the scripture says (as good as a human can do it). It makes me want to BE THERE!!! I love the picture of looking through the gate and you can see the streets of gold and many mansions. I can't wait.

Cathy said...

Beautifully written!
I too sit and wonder what Heaven will be more pain, no more suffering, no more tears, no more loss and heart ache...

I pray for you and your family each and everyday/night...oh and Miss Terri?

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I'm SO BLESSED to have you in my life, and I'm VERY thankful!