I've decided to take a vote: all who don't want Trent to be dead anymore, raise your hands. Yes, my brain thinks this may be a reality if we could just get enough hands in the air. Together we could recall God's sovereign plans and see if He would change His mind and let this not be real anymore. Yes, I am on the brink of being committed to the insane asylum, but then I pour another cup of a certain caffeinated beverage and am brought back to reality by a teen-age daughter who won't raise her hand because, as she sweetly reminds me, God knows better than I do. So I sit back down in defeat and give yet another spelling test to yet another fourth grader. Will somebody wake me up after next Saturday so I can skip the one year anniversary? The last of the firsts, the firsts of the seconds, the rest of my life to go. This "mist" of my life has hit slow motion and I'm tired of trudging through grief. I was reading in Isaiah 6 this morning and asking God for just a glimpse of what Isaiah saw. Or even what Paul saw in 2 Corinthians when he was taken up to paradise. Just a glimpse of heaven should be enough to remind me again what the fight is about; to remember that yes, God really did say there would be rewards for these trials that we suffer for a "little while", Jesus is coming soon, and we will marvel at Him when He does appear (1 Peter 1:6-9; Revelation 22:12; I can't remember the marvel reference).
They've found me . . . back to spelling . . .
7 comments:
Thinking of you often these days:) Especially after reading this: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/02/what-to-do-in-hard-times/ I have no words of wisdom other than you continue to be in my prayers and hope you are able to survive (mentally) where God has placed you guys. Sounds like you are raising a wise young lady! Hope you can find some joy for the time being.
You're so sweet Renee~ thanks:) The prayers and the kind words mean more than you know.
You are in my thoughts daily, dear friend. Prayers too. Know that you are being lifted... xoxo P.S. And ditto what Renee said about your "wise" daughter...sad, but true.
That last comment was from me...darn computers when they aren't yours...I'm "in town".
I'm not too wise - so I have no words of wisdom - however, your daughter is right, "God knows more than us" - now that is wisdom! Yes, Jesus is coming soon. Testimony to this...I've been working alot at the antique store I sell at...a customer comes in Saturday - after talking about things - he says "well, I can tell you - I would rather live next to the Taliban (however you spell it) that some of those Christians" My heart actually jumped...I thought -this isn't end time talk...and how I imagine people starting to treat us...Blessings from Ringle!
I would quickly raise my hand, and then have to put it back down, because heaven must be better than this - like you've said, the goal is to be THERE with him, not have him come back....but it's soo hard here.....
Yep, me too, Brenda. As quick as I raised my hand . . . I had to put it back down. That Alexis~ we raised her too good:))) She's been doing this to me since she was 2 years old!!
Thanks for your prayers, thoughts and cares sweet friends:))
God is good . . . I am impatient:))
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