An attempt to declare the Glory of God for what He has chosen to do with our lives. A legacy to leave to my children in the telling of it.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Never, Ever, Ever

Anyone who trusts in {God} will never be disappointed.

Romans 10:11


Never. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever be disappointed. Doesn't that mean now, too? Not just in eternity, but now, here, today, this moment. As I went to bed in tears last night, and woke up to the same tears this morning, I looked up some verses on worship as I was having a little trouble by myself trying to conjure up worship. I "accidentally" stumbled upon Romans 10:11 and was quickly convicted. Because, you see, I have not been trusting God but rather I have been feeling disappointed.

Disappointed that my son is dead. Disappointed in God's sovereignty at the core when I am honest with myself. Have my reactions not been screaming that lately, along with my polite heart? Deep, deep down I hate this. The struggle continues to hold God's word above everything in my life. To hold on to His goodness, His truth, His plans, and His wisdom. But lately I have felt defeated, and the worst part, I have been giving in to it. Rob's reaction was the simple question: "Are you fighting?" Head hung low, "No." I have been responding instead. Sulking. Sinking. I forget what the fight is about sometimes.

I praise God for creating His foundation in me before Trent's accident rather than through it. The promises get jumbled. The hopes forgotten under the exhaustion of grief. It doesn't take much to tip the scales. It is so easy to look to today, here, now, to be the answer. God does come here and now, but eternity is where He said it would all be fulfilled. Stand firm. Let the waves crash. Let the attacks come. I hold my head up high as I only have one to give an account to. I hold on tighter to His hand. He has assured me that my salvation is secure in Him alone. In Jesus alone.

I long to be found faithful when I do see Him face to face. Faithful to have trusted Him, even in this. Never disappointed. Knowing that God causes all things to work for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purposes. Knowing that He who began a good work in me will finish it. Knowing that He is coming soon, and His reward is with Him. Just hold on, oh me of little faith. I do believe Lord, help me overcome my disbelief.


Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Romans 10:13


Brenda said...

Terri - Something I've been meaning to share with you for a few days is the words of the Lord when the waves and wind of the storm was crashing upon the boat He and His disciples were traveling in. He said "Peace be still" and the waves and wind stopped their attack.

There was a very painful time in my live where the emotional storms would overtake me and all I could do was fall apart in tears under them. I began speaking the words of Jesus to the emotional storms, Peace Be Still. My emotions would calm and I could feel His Peace shine in me instead of being flooded by the waves of hurting emotions. I pray that the emotional storms in your life be calmed by His Words too. - Love and Prayers to you!

Brande Services said...

They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them; and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
Isaiah 35:10

May the God of hope fill Terri with all joy and peace as Terri trusts in Him, so that Terri may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

...Terri, do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you TODAY...the Lord will FIGHT for TERRI; Terri needs only to be still.
Exodus 14:13&14

With joy Terri will draw water from the wells of salvation.
Isaiah 12:3

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have NEVER forsaken Terri, who seeks you.
Psalm 9:10

Praying over you today.


Sherry Sutherby said...

Never, ever, ever quit writing Terri. You soothe the soul of so many folks who visit your Blog. It's my prayer for you tonight, that you wake up dry-eyed in the morning. To me, it feels like you are in the eye of a horrific storm. Tossed about, battered and broken. But soon, the wind, dark clouds, lightning and hail will subside. And when it does, you'll be able to face the new day with a gentleness of one who walks with Christ, one step at a time. Some days might be a stumble, but always inch forward, until you hear those much anticipated words..."Well done, good and faithful servant."

OurCrazyFarm said...

Well I wasn't crying this morning until I read your sweet words Sherry:)) Good tears!

What an encouragement, Brenda. Peace be still. I understand the feeling of that peace shining on you.... one day we will see it in it's entirety.

What beautiful promises Traci:)