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But the Lord took me from tending the flock and said to me,
"Go, prophesy to my people Israel."
Amos 7:15
I was a goat farmer when God called me. My days enjoyably consisted of tending my flock of critters and children, gardens and home, while I pursued what I thought was a deep walk with Christ: reading my Bible, attending church and prayer services, doing my duty in the nursery. Then God showed up with reality. Eternity appeared before us with a dose of acknowledgement that couldn't be ignored. The truths that God had been laying as a foundation in my life were now called upon to be lived out. He shook my world and called me to greater desires.
When the grace of God is poured out on a person there is no going back, only going deeper and closer to that Light. The world around you dulls in the presence of Jesus and the previously glittering distractions are no longer a lure. You have no choice but to want more. Not more of the world, but more of the moments when it is all about God's glory.
I don't know how to adequately describe the transformation. I don't know how to tell you what it feels like to be so close to Holiness where you are allowed to sense the very near presence of your Maker and still breathe. The day of Trent's death was a day of repentance. "I believe you now, God, help me overcome my unbelief." I thought I was living for Christ before that day. Now I only long to live for Him. To live with nothing here that I won't want to leave on the day that He calls me.
To live desperately needing God for everything is addictive and satisfying. But I don't have a need for God now in the same way that I did three years ago. I want to live where I need Him. I want my life to be poured out to walk like Jesus walked. I am excited to see how God plans to fulfill that longing in the days that I have left to live for Him alone.
"These are the words of Him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars.
I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.
Wake up!
Strengthen what remains and is about to die,
for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God.
Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard;
obey it, and repent.
But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief,
and you will not know at what time I will come to you."
Revelation 3:1-3
4 comments:
Oh Terri ~ I am so glad you are able to put into words what we are also feeling one state over, albeit not by your same painful path. Nothing feels the same. Only to get closer to Him. I hope I can "stay true". We are called for such a time as this... Blessings to you!
You are such an inspiration to read, Terri. I envy your walk with God. I am scared to ask for that depth...knowing what could bring it about. But I desire it...and am afraid to trust for it. But God is growing me in the midst of our struggles and challenges here and for that I praise him.
Love you Terri,
Annie
Not many days pass without thinking of you and the family. I was walking through the snow to our goats the other day thinking "What if God said no more?" This sounds crazy but I love the fact that you know. You know exactly where he has called you, and not only that you are obeying him fully. I can't wait to hear what is next. The road to here has been long and difficult. I love to read your posts, they are so humbling to me to focus on things beyond this world. Your family continues to be in our prayers. Blessings, Renee
You have the perfect scriptures to go along with your post. The only thing in this life that I am sure of...is when you feel the Holy Ghost tell you do do something...it is better to do it than not. This life and everything in it is insignificant in the scheme of eternity. I recently felt that "prick" inside of me to boldly do something...say something...to and in a crowd of people. I knew I HAD to...I could feel His spirit urging me to....my husband is rather quiet...he was with me...I did it anyway. I spoke up and said the truth - I don't know who it was for - who God had placed there in that crowd - I just knew I had to say what He laid on my heart. When we got to the truck, I said to Al - you are just going to have to get use to my being like that - Jesus is coming...I didn't mean to embarrass you. He said - I wasn't embarrassed because I felt it too. If God has laid it upon your heart to sell all and "follow him." Do it! My Sunday school lesson this week was on Philip and Nathanel/Bartholomew. When Jesus saw Philip he said 2 words "Follow Me." Philip ran and told his friend...who said "is there any good thing comes from Nazareth?" Philip, didn't need to know ALL there was about Jesus to follow Him. He told his friend and wasn't discouraged by what he said. He lead his friend to Jesus and He did the rest. Don't be discouraged by the words of others - (in one of your last posts) Far be it for anyone to tell another what the Spirit has ordained. Blessings from Ringle, WI.
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