Monday Morning Blogger

It seems I have been a Monday Morning Blogger as of late, only posting once a week or so as life speeds by in the midst of calf bottles and times tables. One more week {Lord willing} until those calves are weaned and I will get a good portion of my time back.

My sister spent the afternoon with us on Saturday and the kids had a ball playing in the pond. Us Mom's had a ball talking about God. Two days later, the ground is covered in snow and the woodstove is running again. April in Wisconsin.

I smiled this morning as I heard the boys starting to stir in their bedroom. Some mornings I am not so quick to smile as the chaos starts: rootin' and tootin', squirming and kicking, but ultimatley giggling and joking between these two brothers. I grew up in a house with five girls; five quiet girls who were mostly content staying inside the lines of our Smurf coloring books. Boys are a whole different breed. My brain starts early, but my tired body doesn't get energized until at least the second cup of coffee to keep up with their wiley ways. I like the mornings when I can start the day laughing at, or (better yet) with, them.

We have been tending to baby mice again. It sort of defeats the purpose of having five barn cats to thin the herd, and then bringing the offspring into the house. But, there is one little girl with a tender heart to these critters that is softer than mine. This batch only survived three days, one less than the previous batch. Not due to a lack of care or nutritious goats milk, though.

There have been good days and bad days on this rollercoaster of grief. It still surprises me when the intensity of the plummet hits. The longing for my son is intense; the hope of my Savior, though, is greater yet. I am learning to stop when I feel the start of that sinking feeling. I repeat the Promises, I hold on tighter, I simply breathe or retreat to my bed and cry myself to sleep. My fear lately is that I will forget my son. It is a battle to accept the peace from God as His grace to sustain me until I see Him face to face. Without the "forgetting" a person would go insane. But you also start to go insane realizing that you can live without your child this side of heaven. Back to the Promises; back to the brevity of this life; back to trying to comprehend just how long eternity will be and that what ultimately matters is where we are with Jesus Christ. Come now, Lord Jesus.

Destroying computers has been my specialty lately it seems; I am doomed to destruct with one little click. Again, the old computer is in the fix-it shop. Something about mother boards, and did we have anything important on there that we wanted to save. Ummm, yes, a couple thousand pictures, a few rough drafts of very important writings, besides the farm accounts and some book revisions. I am seeing dollar signs.

These computer issues mostly started after prayer and a decision to reprint the book (How My Savior Leads Me, which, by the way, God has been doing a great work with) with CreateSpace rather than print more copies with WestBow (cough, cough, ahem, which I would not recommend to any of you dear friends, cough, cough, ahem). Again, those dollar signs triumphed. I can order copies of the book for half the price, which means the gospel going out at half-price, and ... the best part ... I get to have the cover I really wanted and (really the best part of all) to correct those pesky typos that I am finding. Aaahhh, revisions, they have a way of eating at my soul (or is it my pride?).

The calves are crying, the kids are begging for direction, and the coffee pot is beckoning ... until next time ... Lord willing.