Tuesday, June 19, 2012
To Gain Dominion
I've been in survival mode here for the past couple of weeks. It all started with what I thought was just being tired from vacation, which turned into what I assumed was allergies, and finally turned into a full blown head cold. Days have gone by now of constant coughing and barely any sleeping, which has done little to help with my naturally cheery disposition about life.
If I haven't been coughing I've been out in the garden weeding, all the while chanting, "I will gain dominion! I will gain dominion!"
As the record stands, the weeds are winning.
After reminding the other people in this house that combined they eat more around here than I do, I got some half-hearted helpers, until finally I turned to my old standby: bribery. Yes, my sweet dumpling pies, weeding seven rows of potatoes is worth a little plastic whirling fan. They have two rows to go.
We harvested our first produce: radishes. Mmm-mmm! Radish sandwiches for lunch! White bread, butter, radishes and salt.
And the arial garden views your wondering about .... the latest addition to the never ending list: this old farmhouse needs a new roof. If it isn't a furnace shooting flames or a failing sewer, its leaking ceilings. Another opportunity to watch God provide. After discussing our life insurance policy, I consented to climbing up on the rooftop with Rob and holding the ladder while he climbed to the peak and leaned over to patch the worst spot and then take pictures for the insurance company. I'm thinking I'll go with blue shingles this round ...
A friend of ours died and presumably went to hell this weekend. I'm still trying to process the reality of it, too. I'm sure he wasn't planning on it when he got out of bed that morning. I'm sure he figured he'd get at least another day to really take this God stuff seriously. My mind wants to go numb. It wants to pretend there is no hell. It wants to pretend that sin has no eternal consequence. It wants to pretend that salvation can look worldly and still be salvation because he was my friend. The evidence was too real, though: his lifestyle did not leave any convincing evidence of being transformed by Christ.
I am so ready for eternity to begin. I am so ready for Jesus to come and reign. I wonder how much more; how much more ... how many more.
So I tell my kids again what we have already started to get used to: we're all going to die. When we do, I'm sure we'll be surprised that it was so soon; that it was us.
I've cried myself to sleep most nights again. Tears for missing Trent intermingled with tears for a boy who woke up to no father on father's day. Tears for the reality of a sin-filled world. Tears because I chose to not stuff the pain, but rather feel it and look at it and call it what it is.
And then I go weed again, because weeds are easy. And a leaking roof doesn't matter so much.