He has come to give us life and life abundantly. We have been set free. Mercy. Love. Hope. Joy. Peace. Life. Salvation. Have you ever had the overwhelming flood of God washing over you? The time when you bask in His goodness, His mercy, and His love. To feel the washing of it. The rising of joy in it. The healing and freedom. The walls come tumbling down and you let them. You know you're not worthy, but He loves you anyway. The shame and the unworthiness have no place. Free to be who He made you in Him. When your hands are raised and there is nothing but God alone. The things you have been trying too hard to keep in check all fade away~ the bitterness, the worries, the cares of this world. It' all for the glory of the King. We've been in the midst of some long term church struggles that have brought great pain along with great growth to our family. Last night in the middle of a youth rally worship service I realized the tip of the iceberg of the extent of how the past few years have affected me. When you build walls so high and so thick sometimes you even start to wall God off. I don't want Him walled off. I want everything He promised me. I want Him. I am laying down my trowel and letting God reconstruct the ruins. I will continue to wait patiently as He does His work and trust Him for it.
I am not sure if we are struggling through the same things, but you are not alone!! We just took a "leave of absence" from our church of 13 years. It was one of the most painful decisions we have had to make. The most painful thing about it was that we realize the people who were like family to us, didn't real "get it". They didn't understand the passion to homeschool our kids, or anything that we do here. It was sad. I hope that your struggles aren't the same, and can find a better conclusion than ours.
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